Fail-Proof Plan To Make Your Blog Comment Free!
I know there are a few weirdos out there (like me, I admit it) who love to have people comment on their blog. However, I don’t want to be biased towards those who share my opinion, so I decided to write this post to help those of you who are tired of getting quality comments on your blog. I hope this helps!
1. Never comment on other peoples blogs.
And if for some reason you must leave a comment on someone else’s blog, don’t leave your blog URL. If you leave a comment on someone else’s blog and they can find your site, you could be in for some courtesy comments. Especially for those of you with newer blogs… the less comments you make, the less you’ll get! Remember that!
2. Make the link to your comments page obscure.
If your comments are easily visible, people will be more likely to leave a comment. In order to lower the amount of people who leave comments on your blog, make the comments link really small and obscure. If you’re lucky, people wont even notice that you have comments enabled on your blog!
3. Write content that makes your readers feel dumb.
If you want to avoid getting comments, write your posts in a way that your readers would feel embarrassed to comment on. For example, you could write about how anyone who has the word “and” in their domain is an idiot. Although you might risk the chance of someone trying to debate you, you will hopefully be able to deter a few people from commenting on your blog.
4. Require people to register before leaving a comment.
Hopefully, your readers will have a busy time schedule. If their time is limited at your blog, they might not take the time to sign up or log in just to leave a comment.
5. Beg, beg, and beg some more!
Reverse psychology works great! Just make sure you have convincing acting skills. You must convince your readers that no one ever comments and that you are absolutely desperate for comments. However, you must be careful. Don’t put any easy to answer questions in your posts. Better yet, ask that any comments are at least one paragraph long and 100% grammatically correct.
6. Insult those who disagree with you.
If someone leaves a comment on your blog that you disagree with in any way, be sure to make a huge deal about it. Write a feature post talking about how absolutely stupid that person is. Then, threaten your readers that you’ll do the same to them if they ever leave a stupid comment on your blog.
After these six steps, you should be well on your way to a commentless blog. However, if you for some reason are still finding people that are posting quality comments on your blog, there is one last thing that you can do to make sure that this is a fool-proof plan.
7. Disable comments on your blog.
That will work nearly all the time, so if all else fails… disable the comments! Sometimes you just have to choose the easy way.
For those of you who, like me, enjoy getting comments on your blog, just ignore this post. However, I hope this plan will come in handy for those of you who getting tired of quality comments on your blog!
Lori Said:
HA! I agree..those are perfect ways to avoid comments!
March 6th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
HoundsGood Said:
I would add bullet point 7.1) Compose several very long dissertations on why you disabled comments. Triple bonus points for taking a “Mother Superior-like” tone. Minus three points for saying “Where’s the love, people?”
March 6th, 2008 at 10:42 pm
Charla Said:
LOL
I admit…I’m like you. I love to have people comment!
March 6th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
Douglas Slingerland Said:
Make sure you catch my recent comment back on the dating post. By the way I like the new navigational features, they’re awfully spiffy ; )
At any rate I have to admit fetching comments is a give-take relationship and I myself used to follow a few of those negative rules but of course that’s all changed now =) You know what would be nice? Some funny photos. Your next post should have some delightfully funny (yet relevant) photos.
March 7th, 2008 at 12:30 am
Jenny Said:
but i want comments on my blog. don’t tell people how to not comment. LOL
March 7th, 2008 at 8:35 am
Kathy Said:
Very nice - I enjoyed this a lot! Thanks!
March 7th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
Laura Said:
I wish I could do that only with spammers. I never comment on their blogs/sites but they still find me
March 8th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Karen Said:
Number 2 drives me crazy.(I personally hate comment links at the top of the post). If I have to hunt for the comment box, forget it! Great post.
March 8th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Christi Said:
Ha!! Those were great. Love your writing style, by the way.
March 11th, 2008 at 9:40 am
Stefani Said:
I would love to avoid the spammer’s comments but not real and genuine comments from my visitors. Funny!!!
March 13th, 2008 at 7:26 am
Do You Hate Comments On Your Blog? Said:
[...] was reading a post this morning called “Fail-Proof Plan To Make Your Blog Comment Free“. I thought I was going to read about how to avoid those spammers that comment on your blog [...]
March 14th, 2008 at 7:26 am
JMom Said:
Great list! I love getting comments too and if something catches my eyes while bloghopping, I make a point of leaving a comment.
However, no matter how interesting, I will not register just to leave a comment.
March 17th, 2008 at 7:54 am
mistipurple Said:
please don’t say i’m stupid in your next post. ;p
(enjoyed reading this.)
March 17th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Knocksious Said:
Hey, you’re one of the first people’s blogs I’ve commented on, because well… all of those reasons are true!!!!
Especially the signup thing. In the age of stumbleupon, registering seems like a big time-waster, especially when it isn’t technically necessary. I mean, I understand when you have a stupendously huge site that gets a lot of spam attacks in the comments, but by then you probably couldn’t care much less when it comes to comment ammount.
Anyway, great post, if more stuff is like this, you have a new reader
March 17th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Knocksious Said:
PS, I would’ve left you a blog link, but I don’t have one
March 17th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Anonymous Said:
How about
(8) Require people to leave names and email addresses ?
April 11th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Alan Said:
Anonymous: I didn’t realize that there were some people who didn’t like that. I’ve turned off that requirement
If I had a way of contacting you, I’d let you know that I had changed the requirement, heh.
April 11th, 2008 at 4:44 pm